A new blog, a new me! (hopefully haha)

*and again another outlet. this is just an outlet of what i feel so don't be cruel haha*

xxx

this isn't normal
what there is after what has happened
yeah, i haven't even experienced normal yet
so what would give me the right to say
that this not normal?

yes, i had you
but after that i don't feel you anymore
it happened once and would never be
and yes i should stop now
on looking forward to another ride

but then from time to time
though uncalled for keeps going back
remembering what happened wouldn't help
but my mind, my playful mind
dreams and goes back again.

my heart says the yearning has died
but my mind keeps on going, thinking
over and over on what is here now
yes, having nothing at all
is really becoming disturbing.

and now i feel dead.

*this isn't professional poetry or anything like that. just an outlet of what i feel*

xxx


and then i see you again
caught myself staring
at that one picture of you
innocently yet candidly eating

this emotion has been buried deep
but is forcing its way out again
screaming and longing to get out
break free from self preservation

oh how i wish i'd be there
and join you in your feast
and share the same spoon and cup
just to have that indirect kiss

for that spoon and cup is the only way
that i'd be the closest to your lips
for your lips was and is owned already
by someone even i don't see

it may be vague but it's what i pretty much cherish in my life.

disclaimer: don't assume. and the next set of lines may cause intrigues. pm for confirmation.
xxx

once you're there you keep wanting more
i wanted more
or so i thought

never thought this would come
seems like it's only of dreams unreachable
yet now there i was
i've had you

but only for a day
just for a moment
i just borrowed you from him
your time and your soul
i've embraced and drowned myself in

though it was unplanned
and though it is unrighteous
there i grabbed the chance
the only chance that i had

to be with you
just to hold you
just one time
before i let you go back to him

if only we could go further
but then again i wouldn't be able to
he's more fitting to you than i am

perhaps i'll just settle for the jeep
the next jeep
that will take me home
to a home that i'll be proud of

perhaps i'll just wait for the next cab
with the comfortable leather seats
and that one in tip top shape
to take me to where i should be

perhaps i'll wait for the next bus
or whatever vehicle would be next
for you are that car
comfortable and cool
yet i can only ride you once
in this avenue i am on.

your familiar voice
is now unheard
as i enter the gate that you've constantly guarded

your fur and scent
and what you do to your son
is nowhere in the air
and is now left undone

you left and never came back
though when you leave i always find you back

but now i just pray
that if ever that was your last day
i hope nothing tragic came to you
that they haven't hurt you

and if God did take you back
i just hope you went peacefully
without pain
i do hope that you went without pain...