A new blog, a new me! (hopefully haha)

i have loved facebook... the applications, the notifications system and chat and all else.. (including the privacy settings...) it's like an easier and more interactive friendster... due to this i haven't touched my friendster and multiply account for the longest time. up until now. sorry about that.
the only thing that somehow wants me to close the window and go to another site is when i see "XXX is single" or "YYY is in a relationship" on the home page.

either of the two gives me this feeling of... i don't know. jealousy maybe? but the feeling is more intense on the latter. i'm just immersing myself to this feeling so i can then identify it, and when i do i'll be able to detach myself from it. just like what i've did before. like in the book "tuesdays with morrie": you have to let yourself feel it, so the next time you'd recognize it and you'd identify what it is and detach yourself from it. you let it touch you, experience it, cry a little and then you will be able to detach yourself.

being single for 2 years has been a struggle also. it's actually somewhat the same as being in a relationship. it's like (the idea of - in my case) going to another country: you have no idea what's to happen, and you have that anxiety in you. the difference is you go through it alone.

so right now i'll just let it consume me. it's about time i immerse myself on to this feeling so i'd know what it is and be able to deal with it.

(just to clarify: this one is different. i already know the feeling of being single. what i'm trying to know now are those feelings when i see those "...now single" and "...in a relationship" phrases.)

i have an idea, a vague explanation, feeling, term, whatever of what it is. but what is it exactly? i still have to feel it to know completely...