A new blog, a new me! (hopefully haha)

during the day, I think of what I should do or how to appease someone I don't even know.

during the night, like now, I think of the same, just add the rush of having everything done quickly.

this was before, but today, it was different. I didn't think of any of these. one thing is for sure: I don't have work now.

it wasn't an easy decision. yes, leaving is the easy way out, but to be told while passing my resignation letter that I would be regularized the week after that and still have the option of withdrawing it, you might think it's stupid not to wait on being regularized first. Yes, maybe I should have waited. but during those times I already came to that point wherein I have been dragging myself to work, and I did try enduring everything for more than two months now. and also to the point that while drinking with my bestfriend i keep on telling about this customer and that vehicle's crappy sunroof, and how i don't want to go to work anymore. i still even recall their names. he told me that if it's really stressing me then perhaps it's not for me. i guess he was correct. i don't see myself staying there the next year.

TL Mitch: "give it another three months. who knows baka magbago isip mo."
cArLo: "nagawa ko na yan, TL. November ko pa inisip: bigyan ko ng two o three months pa. pero eto..Feb na."

it is a surprise that I was able to serve those 30 days. it really is. I knew myself as someone who, if running away to never return is an option, would choose it. I remember back in high school, i didn't go to school a week before the exams primarily because i was dodging a project that I should have spearheaded. and when I wake up and felt like not going to school, or haven't done a big assignment for that day, i'd just not go to school, pretend to be not feeling well and present a letter the next day.

i really do feel that it's the people and friends at work, and my friends who made me stay longer. if team redgehorse wasn't there, probably i was already gone by the first of december. if Nyl wasn't there, probably I've already lost hope and didn't know what to do and instead have just gone on NCNS (AWOL).

yes, you'd stay at work because you need the cash, and perhaps if you do enjoy what you are doing. but when it gets tough, it's your friends that motivate you to go to work. reason why i was there longer was because of the people, not because of the money on the job.

still, i left. it's not because they're presence or help wasn't enough. it's not that. it's just that i want to be self-reliant, efficient and at my best, somewhere where I'd be in love: with my work, and perhaps with someone wahahaha.

anyway, we'll still see each other. i'll never forget you guys. thanks so much for all the help and the memories.